Saffron

Hi, my name is Saffron, I am 24 years old and from Wolverhampton, UK. I have been writing since I found a passion for poetry in my early teens. I use poetry as a coping mechanism and a lot of my poetry reflects issues that I have faced in my life from childhood right up until now. I write raw and real pieces that bring emotion to readers. I am aspiring to help others relate to each other and help others understand that their problems aren’t faced alone, we all experience hardship in our lives and poetry is a great release.

Here is a poem of mine, it is called Come Back To Me which highlights the problem with substance abuse, my mother has been addicted to drugs since I was a child and this was my interpretation of how hard it must be to break the cycle. It is essentially looking at heroin as a person, a toxic relationship that he has with my mother. I hope you enjoy it.

Dear Natalie, my eternal love,

How are you? It’s been about 2 days and I am missing you already, crazy isn’t it?

I want you to be with me again, you’re so hot and cold and I feel like you don’t know what you really want with me, I wish you’d stop leaving me hanging because I don’t know what to think about our relationship anymore.

Last week, you stayed up all night with me and it felt like we were in another universe together, exploring the deepest depths of every galaxy. You told me I make you forget everything negative in your life and I don’t know if I misheard but at one point, I swear you told me you loved me, that you would do literally anything on this earth just to have me!

I loved the fact that you felt you could rely and depend on me to get past the difficult obstacles in your life. I don’t want you to go, part of me feels like you don’t want to go either but you come and go and I always fucking take you back and make your life better because it could be me and you until the end and I am hopeful of that future, however long that may last.

It frustrates me, whenever we split up, you replace me, surely I am not that replaceable, you just end up in a relationship with a weaker version of me because you think he treats you better and your family prefer him. Speaking of family, why do you always run back to them when we split up and tell them how badly I treat you? They never liked me in the first place and the more we keep splitting up and getting back together, they’re going to get fed up, it’s a cycle.

I don’t even know why I am writing this to you, I could have anyone I wanted, but, we have such a strong connection that I don’t want to let you go right now. You look so cute when we are sleeping together. Especially on Monday at 4pm in the afternoon, even when you haven’t eaten, even when you’re crying.

You keep moaning at me about your children being taken away from you and being the black sheep of the family, that you end up doing bad things when we’re together, I mean, correct me if I am wrong but to me, it’s so rock n roll, Sid and Nancy, ha-ha, I am in love with you!

The thing is, you leave me, but then you’re phoning people asking them where I am and how to find me. You know exactly where I’ll be, you always have, you know me so well. You beg for me back and start becoming ill when I am not around, I don’t know if it’s heartbreak of the fact we aren’t together anymore or the fact it’s physically hurting you when I am not around. You sweat and shake and can’t sleep at night, why put yourself through that when I could be with you forever? I could die with you!

I don’t know why I give you chance after chance, I mean, you’ve really let yourself go lately, why would I want you now? You have missing teeth, ugly bruises, you look really ill a lot of the time and I still lie with you in dark rooms and listen to music that I hate just because it brings back YOUR memories. I am good to you, Natalie. You know I am.

I’m not going to continue writing this anymore, I’m wasting my time as I know you’ll come back to me, I’ll be waiting for you, as I always do, you will need me before I need you. I make you feel on top of the world, when you’re not with me, your life is in shambles.

You get paid tomorrow. Come get me, we can have the best date ever.

All my love,

Heroin.